More before we go....

Bill has begun moving boxes of stuff to his car, and I notice that despite the real grief I feel over "losing" New York, I'm beginning to think like an outsider. I find that I still love walking across the 59th Street Bridge on my way to work, but while on the span the noises and soot are troublesome, and I get angry about the rudeness of bikers who don't stay in their lane, and the whole thing looks dirty to me lately. I am easily annoyed by the crowds as I negotiate the crosswalks, and am less enthusiastic about being in the Grand Central area in general, even though this has been, at least for the last several years, my favorite part of the City. Tonight I'm going toLincoln Center to hear Prokofiev, and I'm not sure that I won't feel like my old habit of walking there from my office won't feel just plain old and tiresome, instead of familiar and comfortable. In any event, this concert season (some of which I'll attend with friends, because Bill's going to be in Delray), is part of my "goodby to New York" process, so I don't want to miss it. On the 25th, the day before my departure, Beth and I will be hearing a Beethoven program. I truly enjoy attending these concerts with friends - many of my friends like and appreciate classical music even more than Bill does - but still, Lincoln Center has been a common pleasure for Bill and me since the early days of our relationship. Fortunately, most of my subscription runs from January, so he will be here to share it with me.

I am still comfortable about leaving Ben and Leah up North. Bill's begun speaking a little about his relationship with Caitlin, and how little he sees her even now. He's always distant and analytical when he speaks about family - you wouldn't think he has any feelings at all if you took him at face value - and I think he regrets how things have gone between the two of them, and that those regrets are more poignant now that he contemplates going so far away from her.