In the White Mountains

August 12 to 19, this year, we take Bill's daughter, Caitlin, who is 13, to Purity Spring. It's a homey, old-timey inn and resort. In the winter, it's King Pine Ski area, but now it's just Purity Spring. It's a really cozy and pleasant place, especially with kids, since the management doesn't actually care if your toddler is loud and messy in the dining room. That isn't to say you can't have a romantic grownup vacation there - you just have to plan to eat a little on the late side, cause you know, those kids are always hungry and drag their parents into meals the minute they smell the mac and cheese.

In any case, my three kids, now adults, practically grew up there. We went for at least a week every year, the same week, with family and friends, and other families/ couples/singles from around the country and from Canada came the same week every year, so we got to know them all and looked forward, from one summer to the next, to seeing them. When I got divorced from Jeff, the annual use of our special room became, for a while, an issue of contention - I won - haha! I continued to take my youngest child up at the appointed week, I went up also with two boyfriends at various times. Recently, my children returned for a small family reunion there, and they say the place hasn't changed much. We're making this trip because, in a moment of insanity, I suggested it, and Bill rarely says no to me!

So I anticipate my return, with Bill and Caitlin. I contacted my Canadian friends, urging them to consider coming down oat of up north (no, that's not a spelling error-just how they speak), but couldn't convince them, so it's just us three. We're not getting the big, expensive room in the building with the water mill next to the dam that holds back the clear, drinkable lake water. The Mill building used to be, when I first started going there, a falling-down barn with signs warning me to keep out. It was renovated to relative luxury, and now houses a good gym, and nice pool, and three nice bedrooms with fridges and microwaves. My extended family used to take the building over on "our" week, and I've had up to 7 people sharing our room when my kids were young and brought friends. Instead, we've booked a smaller space in another, older building, and I'm hoping to get the room I remember that has a little sleeping nook arranged so that there's a tiny bit of visual privacy at night. Bill's been asking me how we're going to find time to be alone. We're pretty old, but we are, after all, still sort of newlyweds. In any case, I've him he can just forget about it.

Now, when I'm with Caitlin, I don't take on a mother's role, nor do I think I act like a friend. She lives in a female-centric home and is isolated from her father by her mothers animosity toward him and by her stage of life - now is the time for her to conspire with her friends not to let either parent know too much about her or get too close. For me to be too motherly, or too friendly, would be a challenge to her loyalty and an insult to her adolescence. I only attempt to exercise authority over my property and premises, and don't attempt to tell her how to do things, nor encourage her to share feelings. She was 9 years old when I met her, and I don't see her that often. She resists intimacy with her father, so it would be presumptuous to believe that she'd let me get to know her very well. My feeling is, I'm just around. As she gets older, if she likes me (and by the way, I like her very much), we can be friendly.

For the moment, I'll be happy if we share a room, in peace, for one, measly week. When we return (or sooner, if things go badly and I have to flee to the computer to vent), I'll let you know how it went, and tell you more about the resort itself.